Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
