Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
