4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
