I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
