it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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