Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
