My liver just broke up with me...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
