I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
