at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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