We won't sleep together?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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