wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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