i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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