in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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