k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize