i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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