Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Be still, my beating vagina.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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