Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
