This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
