Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
my poor anus
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
