I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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