Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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