Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
