I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize