Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
