sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
