he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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