Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
