You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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