Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
