that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
