we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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