he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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