I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
