wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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