no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
