Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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