can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
