just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
