how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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