I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
