We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize