She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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