another moral hangover. fuck.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
