It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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