Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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