i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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