the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
