it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Drunk is not a location!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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