you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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