playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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