that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
