There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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