I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
