Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
