he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize