my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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