she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Randomize
