She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found your dick twin last night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
