Pappa wants mamma naked
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
